Ok, so I am the first person to admit that I have never been a great decision maker. Not in the sense that I don't have the ability to make good decisions. More in the sense that I over analyze every little detail of every decision until it becomes much more complicated than it ever needed to be, then becoming a ridiculous and completely unnecessary source of stress in my life. Why do I do this to myself? No one really knows. The sad thing is that I think it has gotten worse since I have been pregnant. I keep stressing myself out about these stupid little details that don't matter at all. I'm pretty sure poor Preston thinks I have gone off the deep end. I watch him try really hard not to smile too big or break out in laughter when I relate these "issues" to him. I'm lucky to be with such a nice boy who will not only put up with my quirks, but makes the effort to not make me feel bad about them. :) I'll be honest though, sometimes my worries are so ridiculous he can't help but look at me with the "ok, you've officially lost it" look on his face. Can you blame him?
So I'm slowly becoming more aware of the fact that I am having this baby in like 10 weeks and I have done nothing to prepare. Well, that's not entirely true. I finally ordered a crib and Preston bought me this cute bedding I really wanted for our Anniversary last weekend. But that's it. No shopping done. No names picked out. Finally decided on a date for the baby shower but haven't registered yet, nor decided where I even want to register. Babies R Us is so expensive and overpriced but it has such a better selection. Decisions, decisions. It's a miracle that I'm even letting someone throw me a baby shower. If you know me at all you know that bridal and baby showers are the bane of my existence. If I have shown up to a shower for you (or missed it with a legitimate excuse), know that you are very loved and should feel incredibly special.
Anyways...one of the reasons that I have put off shopping is that, well, I'm a tightwad. Losing my job has made it even worse. The thought of spending money, especially as much money as baby stuff costs, makes me cringe. I do need to suck it up and start getting ready though, so I thought I would ask for some help from all you experienced mothers out there.
First thing I want to know is...what things do you really actually use and love and are glad you have vs. things that just end up sitting in a closet somewhere? I don't want to buy more stuff than is necessary. For example, a lot of people say don't bother with a changing table because you end up just changing them on the floor or bed or wherever you are anyway. Makes sense. Some people say don't bother with a little bathtub thing. I want to hear what you all have to say about what you can't live without, and what has been a waste for you.
Second, as I begin my shopping/registering, I want to get some advice on which products you like best. Obviously we want to keep things inexpensive but we are also not willing to sacrifice on safety, durability or sturdiness. If there are certain brands that are cheap and flimsy that we should avoid, feel free to tell me!
I want to start stocking up on diapers. Most women I talk to prefer Huggies hands down, a couple have said Pampers, and one or two have said the Target brand. Which have worked best for you?
Strollers. I think I am leaning towards a jogging stroller. Any thoughts on regular vs jogging or which brand seems to be the best value? Is it worth it to get a whole travel system, or just get a stroller that is compatible with a carseat if you want to use it like that?
Carseats. Safety is obviously my first priority and I've researched this one a lot. Other than safety I've wondered which handle type is most convenient. The regular bowed handle, the bowed handle with a vertical bar down the middle, or the new triangle shaped handle?
Rocking Chair/Glider. How much does it really get used?
Pack N' Play/Playard things-Worth it to have around? We travel a lot because all of our family live out of state. Seems like it would be nice but....just one more thing to buy. Is it gross to buy one of these used?
Breast pump. I've heard the dual electronic ones are best. There are just so many options out there and some are so expensive! Any recommendations on ones you've loved/hated?
Bottles. Does it really make a difference what kind you get? Do the curved neck ones really reduce gas and stuff like they claim? I've heard people talk about the different nipples being better on some than others. Any preferences?
Diaper Genie/Diaper Champ type things. Yes, no? I hate walking into a house that perpetually smells like diapers. I know myself well enough to know that I'm not going to take each dirty diaper out to the outside trash all the time. Do these really hide the smell? What other solutions do people use?
We have been given a swing but I've also heard that some babies love those little vibrating chair things. (I have no idea what they are called). Is one of those worth getting?
On-Body Carrier things. Baby Bjorns, backpack thingies, Moby Wraps...what do you find works best or is safest for the baby?
P.S. after years of hearing the word "bumbo chair" I finally got up the guts to tell my friends I had no idea what they were talking about and asked what it was. Hahaha, I feel so much better not having to pretend anymore!
I have also suddenly spawned a million questions like, "how the heck do you get poo stains out of clothes and sheets?" I can barely get food stains out of my own clothes (which happens at pretty much every meal now, by the way). Also, I am currently reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child because it has been highly recommended by a lot of people. Any other book suggestions that have been helpful to you?
I can't think of any other specific questions right now but feel free to offer any advice you have! As you can see, I know nothing. Now, logically I realize that all kids are different and what works for one may not work for another. I also realize that all the things I don't know now are things that I will learn as I go, and that if I'm lucky, might even kick in instinctively when I become a mother. However, all logic aside, I am a semi-panicked pregnant woman so please humor me. :)
Thanks all! If you don't want to post your comments on here you can email me your thoughts at crowley.amber@gmail.com.
12 comments:
Amber,
Okay--you asked for it!
Car seat first!!! Can't take the baby home without it. Since that may also involve a stroller decision, decide if you want the car seat with the stroller or not. My nephew had a great one. I'll find out what type they used. My niece has a BOB and she loves it because it moves soooo easily but it is big. As far as an infant carrier goes, go to the store and pick up and carry the different models and see which feels most comfortable in your hand.
CHanging table--waste of money. Get a changing pad that folds up to put in the diaper bag.
Can you borrow a bassinet from someone? It's nice to have that option those first few weeks if you want the baby close at night. I borrowed one and it worked out great.
Breast pump--can you rent rather than buy & would that be cheaper? Usually, the attachments you can buy new but rent the pump.
Caitlin loved the swing--Spencer hated it. Can you borrow one for a couple of weeks to see if this baby likes it before investing? If they like it, your life is incredibly easier. My kids also loved the jumper which hangs from a doorway. But you don't need one of those until 3 to 4 months as I recall. Preston also loved the jumper as a baby!
BAth seats--the chairs are for older babies. I had the lay back kind and I liked it.
My niece has a wrap she uses and I've held her boys in one and so has Carl and Caitlin. I really liked the hands free option because some days they just want to be held and they need the closeness but you can still get things done. Also, with a wrap, nursing is really easy because nobody can tell you're nursing. My niece has nursed her twins all over Washington DC! I'll find out what type she has because you can use them front and back and all sorts of different ways.
Rocking chair--I have one and I love it because it was given to me by a really good friend. However, a comfortable chair and maybe a stool is just as good. This is definitely something you can invest in second hand.
Pac'N Play--something you can wait on. You won't need it right away but you'll probably want one at some point.
Bottles are personal preference. My kids had both types as well as the playtex liners and I preferred the silicon nipples over latex (luckily my kids did too!) Some of that is dictated by baby. If you are planning to nurse, I wouldn't worry about more than maybe two bottles until you have to go back to work and use day care. I remember Marie being amazed at how many bottles I had since I didn't nurse and she did. I think she only had 2 or 3 total with the older 4 kids!
As far as the diaper genie--I'm not really a big fan either. What about having Preston put one of those old fashioned outdoor trash cans right outside the back door? He can then dump it into the big dumpster whenever he needs to and you won't have to walk outside. Make sure it has a lid to keep Tank out of them! Plus, they are really cheap and when you move, you can just leave it or trash it.
Fels Naptha soap is pretty good for removing stains. It's a brown bar of soap. I'm pretty sure Smith's carries it but I'm not sure about how I spelled it.
Huggies! (wipes too!)
I would love to go shopping with you on a Saturday (since unfortunately I am working. sigh)
Just let me know!
Love you!
Aunt Lisa
P.S. What the heck is a Bumbo chair?
So I stumbled upon your blog and figured I'd answer. When we use disposable diapers hands down Huggies are my favorite. We've used the Wal Mart brand and they aren't bad, but I like Huggies.
As far as strollers, I've had a few and I LOVE our Bumbleride. They are pricey, but are WONDERFUL! Most car seats are also compatible with the Bumblerides.
I LOVE Boudreaux's Butt Paste for diaper rash ointment. It's Fantastic.
We've never had a diaper pail for disposables...they are disgusting and smell. We just take them to the trash outside.
I "wore" my babies ALL the time. I have a sling that my mother-in-law made me and I love. The front packs are all right and I've used them, but I found them a lot more uncomfortable. I've heard great things about the Moby wraps but have never used one.
As far as "poo stains" I soak the clothes and hand wash before I put them in the wash machine. I know it sounds disgusting, but I've never thrown away any clothes because they are stained by poop.
Other than that, don't over think getting "prepared". If you have some clothes, a few blankets, a car seat and somewhere you want the baby to sleep you'll be okay. You can get anything else you deem necessary after the baby is born.
Can I start by saying that I love this post? :) I love new moms. :) I love all the questions. :) It makes me all happy and nostalgic. Very happy for you guys. :)
CHANGING TABLE: No need. I had one and used it to put blankets and extra diapers and things on it.
BATHTUB CHAIRS: Never used mine - I just had a big rectangle 'bucket' type thing that we filled with warm water and baby soap. I would recommend the lavender baby bedtime bath soap from Johnson & Johnson, though.
REGISTERING: I love Babies R Us. The 'big stuff' is more expensive there, but the smaller things aren't really much more than Walmart / Target.
DIAPERS: With my boys, Huggies / Costco / Sams Club brands were fine. Robyn was allergic to all of those. :( So Pampers have been fabulous for her. Sams Club has the best prices for bulk diapers.
STROLLER: Not a lot of help on this one, but I would recommend one of the little $10 strollers for quick trips to the store, etc. Easier to fit into a car.
CAR SEATS: Go to Burlington Coat Factory. It's a little ghetto inside, but they have name brand things cheaper there. Also, you can pick up the car seats and see if there is a way to carry / type of handle you prefer best.
ROCKING CHAIR: I used mine a lot with my oldest. I recommend one that reclines - like a Lazy Boy. :) I'd check thrift stores, yard sales for those and have it recovered with a fabric you like. Definitely something with good padding, not just hard wood.
PACK N PLAY: I loved having ours. I actually had 2. You can buy used, just try to wash / hand wash everywhere you can and buy a cute mattress pad thingy cover, just in case. :)
BREAST PUMP: Electric is the only way to go. I had a single and a double breast pump (lost one between different pregnancies)I liked the double better. It's embarrassing and you feel like a milk cow, but its nice to do to relieve pressure, to be able to let the hubby participate in feeding, and to get the job done. I had one of the cheaper models offered from Walmart (still like $70ish) but I think you can rent them from the hospitals too - don't know the cost, sorry. Just a different nipple guard. And sometimes it takes practice to get it 'just right' and not hurt.
BOTTLES: totally depends on the baby what kind of bottle / nipples they like. My oldest was more picky than my other 2. They liked the Walmart brand Parent's Choice.
DIAPER GENIE: Not worth it. Still lets the smell out, the little sacks that go in it are expensive. I would just have a small trash can outside a back door or something that gets emptied daily by the hubby. :)
SWINGS / BOUNCER CHAIRS: My kids LOVED them (swings especially) and I swear by them, but the bouncer seat only works for a few months until they get big enough to roll out of them or to bounce themselves in them. I let my kids sleep in their big swing at night for the first, oh, year of life and they slept through the night from day one...
ON BODY CARRIERS: I have friends that love the slings when the babies are younger, but I never used them... Sorry!
BUMBO CHAIRS: They're fairly new. :) No worries. :) It took me a while too. :)
STAINS: OxyClean. I kept a medium bucket of water on top of my washer with some OxyClean in it. If there was an accident or food, I would rinse if off and toss the clothes in there. Then at night I would pull the clothes out, rinse and scrub with a cheap electric tooth brush. Worked most all the time!
SORRY - IT DIDN'T LET ME FINISH... I'M KINDA WORDY! :)
BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS: Something simple that you can read out loud to the baby. :)
OTHER THINGS:
Get a nursing cover. My favs are called Hooter Hiders but it might be because of the name. :) Many of my new mom friends have them and love them. I always used a baby blanket, but nursing covers are really nice to have.
Sometimes the babies don't like to latch on to you, especially at first. Don't get discouraged. Keep it up. And if you have to use or choose to use formula, that's okay too. Baby formula company websites (and actually food, diaper sites as well) have a place to sign up for coupons. Use them!
Get a good, big diaper bag. It's worth it. Always carry a spare outfit for the baby and a spare shirt for you in it. :)
Here you go:
Changing table...stupid. Get a dresser to store stuff in, you can store your diaper in there too. I never have changed my babies on changing whatevers. I probably just plop them down on a blanket somewhere...I like using things I can throw in the washing machine.
Car seat-get a nice one.I like my Graco one, my sister has a chico one she loves. I don't know how much the handle matters...you will just get used to what you choose..in my opinion. no to the stroller travel system. I had one, it was nice, I used it...but I wish I would have gotten a jogging stroller. I have been interested in the Ted and Phil ones that you can get the seat to add to the bottom...you know..for future children. I dont' know how much people like them, but there is a lady in my ward who loves it. So it can be a single or a double jogger..
Bassinets-they seem handy at first, but where to store them the rest of the time seems annoying. I used my play n pack with Travis and just had it set up next to my bed. As for a play n pack...I love mine, I used it a TON...its great when traveling and stuff.
Breat pump-try looking at kid to kid for one, or renting one. My sister had one and gave it me after she had her last child.
Swings..Dani slept in hers at night...I dont' know if that is bad or not, but it was all we could do with her. She loved it and used it until she got too big for it. Travis hated it so I sold it and got a jumper for him. I do like the vibrating chair things...I find them handy to put a baby in. I also had a little rocker that had this kickout stand to recline it back...I liked that for when I started feeding my babies....but that was probably because I never had a high chair at the time. Travis likes to sit in that little rocker when I have to put on his shoes and sockes.
Real rocking chair...I don't use mine alot, its not comfortable to me.I just like its looks...a glider seems like it would be more comfortable...but I dont' like the looks of those...so your call. I usually ended up on my couch or bed with them anyways. Which reminds me...GET A BOPPY PILLOW. I love mine...for so many reasons.
Baby carriers a must have. Makes things easy when you dont' want the bulky stroller. I never had a wrap but they look convenient. I have the baby bjorn...I think next baby I will try a wrap. I like the baby bjorn, but it seems like a wrap gives you more options.
Bath seats, I have the lay down kind. Honestly I just used the sink for the first few months:)
I used different kinds of bottles for my 2 kids. It really depends on the baby I think. They take to different things. So you might just have to get some different options and see what works.
continued....I have always talked alot!
I hate diaper genies...I think they are disgusting and make houses smell nasty. We have to keep our big trash can in the garage, so I just always take mine out there. I have also just put them in the plastic grocery bags and tied it up really good if I was feeling lazy, but made sure to not keep it in too long. The diapers just HAVE to be taken out pretty fast...you dont' want that grossness festering inside too long. Helpful hint...I keep of roll of trashcan liners in my purse...for dirty diapers when I am out and about...also to put in the clothes that get yuckies on them when explosions occur or throw up and what not...you may want to consider...I haven't had to use them a ton, but when I needed them I was happy I had them.
As far as diaper brands go...I love huggies for my newborn. I am cheap and they are expensive so when I move up to size 1 I start to go generic..target or even walmart brands. They aren't as soft and cute...but when it comes down to it you are paying for something that poop and pee go into...so I am not picky there. I use generic wipes...walmart...again...poop and pee...poop and pee do not need luxurious items!
Never had a bumbo chair...they look awesome to me. Most of my friends have them.
I dont' know how to get stains out really. I just try to wash them out quickly and spray on stain remover. Not much help on this one.
I am so excited for you and what you get to experience soon. I wish I was there Also, hit the Children's Place when they have their big sales, they will have signs that say 4.99 and under...stock up on bigger clothes to go with the right seasons. I get great wardrobes for not much money. Good luck!
Hey Amber! Car seats- I HATE Evenflow! Don't get one. Diaper Genie- waste of money. The costco brand diapers are made by Huggies. I'd wait and see if you actually need a breast pump before you spend the money. Bumbos are FANTASTIC, but I'd recommend getting the tray, because they can twist themselves out of the bumbo. I have a moby wrap and a baby bjorn. The moby wrap is TONS easier and more functional. I have a double jogging stroller that I like, but it is kinda hard to use in normal places, it doesn't turn very well, so if you don't jog much I'd get a regular one. However, chances are you are going to have another baby in the next 2/3 years and then your single stroller is obsolete, so don't spend too much money. Changing tables are a complete waste of space but pack and plays aren't. I actually used the reclining baby bathtub with all three of my kids. I don't remember the rest of your questions and my kids are screaming, so I'll end it here. I am so excited for you! GOOD LUCK!
Hey Amber - hope it's not weird that I found your blog. When I saw you and Preston were expecting I got excited and thought I'd see how things went and this post reminded me of myself. I don't have a lot of advice except try not to stress too much (I know that can be hard) but! the baby will let you know what you need. A car seat and diapers are definitely a must. LOL. And we do like huggies. But only cause Evelyn gets diaper rashes with other kinds. We have a graco car seat and we have loved it but I don't know about others. Also - we didn't get a changing table and haven't regretted that. I just keep a basket full of diapers and wipes and changing mat in the different rooms and that worked for us. You can get a cute cheap basket so it doesn't look too tacky. It was nice to have a bath tub for the first few months. We have a nice one we are not using right now. I also have a moby wrap that Evelyn has just about gotten too big for. I know it's fun to have your own things but I also understand the money thing. And I figure you can acquire more of your own things as your family grows. That's just me. So if after your shower you would like to just try our tub or use the moby to see if you like it and we have a baby moses basket we used for about the first two weeks you are welcome to borrow any of them. Uh . . I guess that it if you are still in Provo or close at all?We have a bouncer but it is pink but you could borrow it to see if he likes it. You will probably get quite a few things from family and friends but jsut let me know if you would like to borrow anything. I have cleaned it all and they are in good shape. Oh! And as far as stains go? I have used dreft. It's worked pretty good for us. Also . . if the stain doesn't come out the first time try again. It's taken a couple washes for some things. Well . . . I have said plenty. I know you get a lot of advice. Anywho . . .you will love being a mom but sleep all you can and pamper yourself now. Spend time with Preston. Having the little one makes that harder. Better but harder. Maybe go somewhere or do something you have wanted to do or enjoy doing that will be harder with the baby. And you can e-mail or call if you have questions or need me to take you for ice cream (cause I would love to!) or want to borrow anything! e-mail is little_hirsch@comcast.net and number is 801-540-9000. Good luck! Have a great day!
Sarah Crooks
Okay, I only really have advice to give on a few things.
I think that a Baby Bjorn is a must. You can do housework with the baby right on you. Slings are nice, but they grow out of them. You can use a Baby Bjorn for a longer time than the sling.
And a pack n play is also a must eventually. You probably don't need one right off, but you'll want one later.
As for diapers, we use the Walmart brand, and they work just fine.
Lucy had both a swing and a vibrator chair. They both came in REALLY handy in the first 6 months of her life.
We have a rocking chair, and haven't really used it as much as we thought we would.
Hope this helps! Good luck!
Wow, I'll email you. :)
Amber - I'm sure you have enough advice by now... but James and I wanted to add our two cents as new parents.
Diapers: We love the Walmart brand with Abigail! They are the only kind she didn't blow out of. We also really like Huggies. We have tried everything for diaper rash... butt paste, desitin extra strength, powder, antacid (yeah, that was recommended to us)... but my brother gave me the best advice... vaseline works great, their daughter has NEVER had a diaper rash
Stains: Fels Naptha is the best. I really thought we were going to have to throw away some clothes the other day, but hand scrubbing with that worked perfectly... good as new. The sooner you get to it the better
Bath time: We love her ducky bath we got from Walmart. It is wonderful!
Breast Pump: I have a double electric pump. (We got it through WIC because I work full time.) Wait and see if you need one... if I didn't work full time I would probably just use the hand pump I have.
Pac-n-Play: We still don't have a one. My mother-in-law has one but we didn't use it when we visited. Abigail just slept with us.
You will get diaper bags from the hospital so wait to see about that. Just get a changing pad. We put Abigail's stuff in some cute baskets on top of the dresser.
Car seat: We got our stroller carseat combo from Craig's List. I would NOT recommend that. We didn't know that they expire!
Rocking Chair: We have an old rocking chair that I love to use with Abigail. She likes to move, it helps her sleep.
Bumbo: We are definitely going to get one of these! But we have survived just fine without one for over three months. She just loves to sit up now and can hold up her head wonderfully, so we think it will be great.
Burp Clothes: We love the ones made out of clothe diapers the best! You will definitely need some good ones!
If you have any questions let me know. We are in the same "money saving" mindset. I'm so excited for you both! It definitely changes your life forever in the best way! Make sure you spend time together, it is harder once the baby is here!
I would vote hands down a jogging stroller and make sure and order it online from babies r us because a lot of the time they will send you a free umbrella stroller that I absolutley love for the mall and anywhere that is to crowded for the jogging stroller.
Next, I would definately get a pack n' play, they are so handy. I didnt buy one when I had brigham, but have been looking at some for our next and the Arms Reach Co-sleeper is pretty appealing...in my opinion great for newborns next to your bed!!
Okay, for the bumbo, just use mine. I have a blue one and won't need it until you are done using it! Oh and also, don't buy a bouncer, just use mine!
For the breast pump- if you are going to be home with him, then I would for go the big expensive breastpump and get a hand pump. I used one just for times when I wouldn't be able to breastfeed.
Pampers swaddlers are best diapers for when they are new and have a ton of blowouts, but I use huggies when they get a little bigger and are more wet.
I wouldn't worry about buying too many things at first. Just get the essentials and then after the lil guy is born you will be able to get the things that you need.
Hope this helps!
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